Because I Said So. Ugh.

I know it's been awhile, but prepare yourselves...I'm about to review a movie I haven't seen. "Because I Said So" stars Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore and Lorelai Gilmore. Even though I can almost guarantee you that I will never spend 2 hrs of my life watching it, I feel like I know ALL about it just from the trailer...and that, my friends is the main criteria by which I choose what movies to review.

Diane Keaton's character (we'll call her Diane for simplicity) is approaching 60 and is obsessed with the lives of her daughters, most notably that of her youngest daughter, Mandy. You see, Mandy is a little unlucky in love and for whatever reason having 3 other daughters who seem to be doing fine and have most likely sired at least one grandchild for Diane, Diane is still terrified that Mandy will not "find someone." I use the term "find someone" with the greatest derision by the way...I hate that term. I have relatives that use that term in relation to me and it always pisses me off..."finding someone" sounds like I'm supposed to wander around the mall until I find some stranger who needs a ride home. Feh. Anyway, Diane wants Mandy to "find someone," but she doesn't want her to try too hard, because then she looks like she's "asking for it" (aka acting slutty).

In reality, Diane is simply worried that her vagina has packed it in for this century and that SHE'S the one who's really going to wind up old and alone. From the trailer she sorta seems like a pain in the ass...if I were her kids, I'd have her work on that before pointing out the whole "dying alone" problem and sicking her on unsuspecting gentlemen...but maybe that's just me. Anyway, it seems that as Mandy's luck in love turns for the better, so does Diane's...it would seem that Mandy's love interest has a handsome and conveniently single dad. Yeah for Diane, yeah for Mandy. Who guesses that this flick ends with a double wedding or some similary cheesy contrivance?

In case it isn't clear, I'm not giving this movie a good review...it looks about as formulaic as a movie could possibly be. I'm pretty sure I know 90% of the plot just from watching the trailer. Diane Keaton really needs to stop slumming..."The Family Stone," now this? At least she made "Something's Gotta Give." That was a decent movie. Since then, she seems to be re-creating the basic premise over and over again in decreasingly watchable films. I sort of wish she'd take a huge leap towards actually acting again and take some crazy, edgy role in which she didn't get to simply wear her own clothes and play overbearing mom to a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings. I do have a strange affection for Mandy Moore though, so part of me hopes that if this film is going to be panned she's not the specific target of said panning. Anyway...Vive la terrible chick flicks!

***NOTE: I TOTALLY underestimated how bad this movie truly is. Rotten Tomatoes currently has it getting only 7% positive reviews including a hilarious review by Rex Reed that actually referred to the film as a "holocaust." So...um, in summary...save your money.