Prison is a Bitch

I'm so tired of waiting for TVGasm, one of my favorite all-time websites, to update their Prison Break section that I'm moved to write about the show myself.

It is amazing. If you haven't been watching it religiously on Monday nights, Tivoing it, or didn't catch the FX marathon a couple months back, you should pray to the TV Gods that another marathon materializes sometime soon.

For those unfamiliar with the show, Wentworth Miller plays Michael Scofield, a structural engineer gone very wrong in an attempt to get thrown in prison. Why? To break his brother, Lincoln Burroughs, out of course. The first season has been copiously recapped (except for the LAST THREE DAMN EPISODES) via TVGasm, but here's a quick synopsis: Lincoln is on death row for killing the Vice President's brother, and his execution is approaching quickly. Michael did some structural work on the prison and therefore has blueprints to it, but cannot memorize enough of them to be effective, so he TATTOOS them on (hidden in the glorious design at left), robs a bank, gets thrown in the same prison (Fox River) as his brother, and begins his breakout plans. Along the way, he enlists the help of a few other inmates for very specific reasons: one guy has money, one can get a plane on standby, and one is his cellmate (he just kinda has to be in on it for logistical reasons). On the outside, Veronica, a lawyer and old flame of Lincoln, is working to clear his name (he didn't kill the guy). Another lawyer from a place called Project Justice (Nick ) joins her, but while they are making headway they also are being hunted by a couple of bad, bad government thugs, the worst of whom goes by the name Kellerman.

Nearly all of the above is set up in the first TWO episodes. As the season progresses, more and more cons end up learning about the breakout and all of them threaten to expose the plan unless they are brought in on it. In the hands of lesser producers and writers, this show would have derailed right about there...you've suddenly got about thirty characters between the inmates, the warden, 3-4 prison guards of note, 3 government thugs, the Vice President (evil), her "backers" (also evil), two lawyers, a re-appearing father figure and the prison doctor, Sarah Tancredi (her dad's also the Governor...how coincidental). But no...rather than derailing this show actually made a lot of these characters quite memorable, like the evil pedophilic inmate T-Bag. And yes, that is his name on the show (more proof of this show's awesomeness).

Not wanting to ruin it for my fellow Prison Breakers, I'll warn you now that I'm going to discuss the season finale. Take solace in the above picture of HOT Michael Scofield and stop reading now.

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I was on the edge of my seat during the actual break out episode, cheering OUT LOUD for them to make it over the fence (except for T-Bag...that guy should never see the light of day). In fact, I almost think that that episode should have been the season finale. The finale itself, however packed so many loose ends into one hour that I could barely contain myself. In order of what I can't freakin' believe:

-Did Westmoreland actually die? I am almost certain that he did...
-Nick...definitely doorknob dead
-T-Bag...jesus bloody stump on a stick, does he have any chance without a hand?
-Haywire...nice misdirection, producers. He can't get far in a wack shack suit and football helmet, can he?
-President Ms. Bitch...again, nice misdirection. Apparently she CAN, in fact, get things done

And for the biggest shock of all...do you think they really killed off Tancredi?

Does this show require huge "suspension of disbelief"? Yes. Is Veronica both annoying and stupid? Yes. Is the show amazingly addictive with an awesome cast, witty writers and some ingenious plot twists? YES.

To tide me over until fall (when my TV additiction comes back on for season 2), I'm open to any and all speculation on the fates of our intrepid cons...Michael, Lincoln, Sucre, Westmoreland (R.I.P), Tweener, C-Note, T-Bag, Haywire and Abruzzi.